http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33088053/ns/us_news-weird_news/?GT1=43001

 D: Now thats just nasty...

I actually ALREADY USE touch-screen technology on my PC~

PROS:
- Makes getting to things easier when your mouse glitches up
- Makes writing an email personal (since I have handwriting recognition technology on my PC)
- Makes writing notes in class easier (once you get formating things down. Doesn't work well for math class since handwriting recognition doesn't recognize powers or square roots yet)
- You can ACTUALLY RIGHT CLICK WITH A TOUCH SCREEN! Just hold your finger down longer than normal! (At least on my pc.)

CONS:

- Improve handwriting recognition to learn quicker
- Make sure sensitivity options are easy to access.

Not a lot of cons I can see with it so far. Just gotta make sure everything is aligned juuuuust so.

LIFE SUSTAINING = KEEPING GRANDMA ALIVE, DAMMIT, NOT GATHERING DOCTORS TO SEE IF SHE'S READY TO DIE NOW? HOW ABOUT NOW? NOW GRAMMA? NOW? AND NOW? HOW ABOUT NOW?

SHUT UP ABOUT DEATH PANELS TO ME, I'VE READ PART OF THIS SHIT. IN PROCESS OF FINDING THE WHOLE BILL TO READ. -.-

-Z

It seem's I'm having a bit of a problem...

I am a spiritual person, although I believe that a person must truly believe in something to have a full life, have something to aim for you know? Like 'if I am good, I get to go to heaven', thats something to aim for.

However...

I do not want to be a Christian.

Its ideals are not for me. Just...not for me.
It's very close-minded and I find that it goes against much of what I believe in.

So it's time for me to find something new to believe in.
But...my three choices are a bit radical.
Buddhism, Wicca and...Islam.

Buddhism is closest to my beliefs.
I can meditate (its probably best for my health, actually.) and I believe in reincarnation, although I need more information on it.
I could probably be a vegan too, as it would also be best for me.

Wicca is the next closest. I should mention I was a 'closet Wiccan' for a while and I did enjoy it.
I would like to express it more freely, if I do choose it as a religion.
Again, need more information on it.

Islam...there is no good time and place for it.
But I feel in my heart that there's something about it that may be what I'm looking for.
But what it is exactly I don't know...
Need to research this more.

I feel so lost, that I honestly don't know what to do anymore...
...help?

x-posted to my journal and advice4teens.

-Z

AND EVERYONE WONDERS WHY THE PREGNANCY RATE IN AMERICA IS SO HIGH WITH YOUNG TEENS?! GEE I WONDER WHY MY THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL IS PREGNANT AND WHY SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS OUT OF THREE BOYS?

GOD DAMN AMERICA AND ITS ADVERTISEMENTS! SEX DOESN'T ALWAYS SELL! SEX DOESN'T NEED TO SELL AND IT SHOULDN'T! YOU SHOULD BE BUYING JEANS BECAUSE THEY'RE COMFORTABLE TO MOVE IN, NOT BECAUSE THEY'LL GET YOU A QUICK BANG AND THEY'RE EASY TO TAKE OFF!!!!

GOD DAMN AMERICA AND HOW IT PROSTITUTES ITS YOUNG CHILDREN! NO WONDER THE WORLD HATES US!

I HATE AMERICA AND WOULD RATHER MOVE TO JAPAN!

-Z

Honesty Meme

Boom.

D: Does anyone even read this shit anymore?

Doing what a friend did.

ANON MEME

Comment on this entry as an anonymous user. Tell me anything, ask me anything, and I'll respond.

Hope people respond. D: Otherwise I'll feel dumb.

I...

I don't think life is turning out too great.
I think I'm at the bottom.
I think giving up is my best option at this point.
I know something is wrong with me and will never be righted.

...I don't think I'm going to graduate.

Yay for BlogThings!
( Mmm, quizzes )</div></div>( Mmm, quizzes )

Hey all,

Um...life is still sort of sucking over here.

See my last post if you don't understand what I mean.

So what does this mean for my journal?

It means I won't be posting much anymore. A hiatus.

I'll still be on here, but there won't be much in the way of a personal life aside from an occasional emo post, perhaps. I really don't see much to post about, as all my thoughts consist of 'I WANNA DIE' or 'LIFE SUCKS' or 'WHERE'S THE VICODIN/PERCOCET'. Depressing thoughts. I'm sure no one wants to hear them.

I'll be on a few communities and I'll reply to your posts, but I won't be 'in my head'. I don't see much reason to be in that dank place.

I don't think you'd want to be in my head either, would you?

-Z

I think I need to explain what's been going on for the past few days/weeks.

I've been having some horrible migraines lately, and, um...well, they've been extremely horrible. And I can't control my mood with these ones. I just can't stop what I do or say. I've been crying from the pain and I've been suicidal with these migraines. Its been like this for a week or so now. I told my neurologist and he's trying to get help for me through a psychiatrist and changing my medications to control my rage and my sadness. So far, the meds aren't doing much to stop the pain in my head.

The pain has been whats fueling these thoughts. I do want to live, don't get me wrong. I love life. Its just life with these migraines I can't see living with. That's what I'd love to end. And I'm getting tired of trial and error with these medications. My life is NOT a lab experiment, and I shouldn't be the lab rat.

So whats my plan?

I'm going to be seeing a psychiatrist (not sure who it'll be; we're looking for one that I like), we're still working with my medications, and we're trying to keep me as happy as possible and keep me safe. I've just been watching my fish and been trying to keep myself calm. There's nothing else that I can do but that.

-Z

1. My username is _____ because ____

My username is Tsubakifish because I like tsubaki (the shampoo and the flower (tsubaki is Japanese for camelia)) and because I like fish (to own and eat). I sorta wanna change it to my trademark zephyrzkingdom though. Or Zephyrau. Iunno.

2. My name is _____ because ______.

I'm Amanda because thats the first name my dad thought of. :D And my mom agreed. Although she wanted to name me Penelope and call me Pene for short (Pene is penis in Spanish XD).

My middle name is Ruth for...I don't quite remember why. For a relative on my fathers side.

French is, um...its a little obvious what it means, isn't it? We've traced our lineage back to the 1700's or so, back to Germany and France. I'd have to check the records.

3. My journal is titled ____ because ____.

Its titled 'Its my generation, feel the rhythm of the nation' in commemoration of a song I like. :) It sort of promotes that each generation is different and shouldn't be changed by the generation before or after it. I may change it soon.


4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.

My friends page is called 'I am an inspiration to the whole generation' in commemoration again to the same song that titled my journal. Its to show that those within a generation can change that generation. Therefore my friends can change me. :P

5. My default userpic is ____ because ____.

My default userpic is my sim Zephyr because I've been too lazy to change it. :P That and I love seeing her pretty face. I may change it.

A really weird entry...

College: I GOT INTO PSU YAAAAAAAAY OMFG OMFG OMFG! :DDDDDD

Failure: Yet I feel like I've failed at life. :( I looked at my progress report from school, and I've missed 15 days of school...because of my migraines. And you know what? I wouldn't be surprised if PSU rejected me because of that. I really hope I get to graduate. I really, really pray that I do.

Tiredness: Lately, its feeling like I'm just tired..too tired to function properly. It almost feels like I just cannot function...like maybe I'm getting tired of life and living it to the fullest. :( And I don't know what to do about this. I haven't told my mom at all.

Seems like I'm in the doldrums. :(

-Z

Hey all! 

I just got a new fish! Now I know I've said I don't like the fancy goldfish, but I found a $2.00 fantail that I just HAD to get! He's beautiful, and I've named him Captain Davy 'Fattie' Jones, or Jonesy for short. His body is about the size of an olive and he has an odd color that's like a green-gold. I wish I could capture it better with my camera, but alas, no such luck. I got a few pictures, although Jonesy is moving way too fast for me to get pictures of him. I will get a video of him later, however. Here's the pics I have so far...

( Olive with fins~ )

Woo hoo, emo rant.

( Meh. )